There’s something amazing about going for rides at night. I’ve been doing it a lot more recently just to get out my flat, since it’s just me there at the moment, and it’s been awesome. Short sprints across town with the main roads and massive roundabouts being completely empty and quiet. Just pushing as hard as you can.
I remember riding the 25 miles back from work to home earlier this summer after finishing at 1am and missing a train. It was fucking terrifying and incredibly. Massively under prepared on the light front and racing through country lanes, along motorways, no street lights for miles and so many odd noises. The countryside is so quiet that little things become so much louder. Poachers in a field nearby shooting rabbits and owls hunting.
Finally coming into the outskirts of my home town felt like landing on a runway with all the street lights suddenly coming into view and getting home was so good.
Anyone who rides should go out and ride for an hour at two or three in the morning. The streets and surroundings just feel so much different. Kind of more like they belong to you with no one else about.
It sounds a bit pathetic but I can’t stand how I have to ride three miles to the next train station because the one minutes from my flat kicks off about me taking my bike on the train in the morning. It makes no sense, I’m on the same train I would have caught anyways. I just don’t function well on a bike this early in the morning.
Not sure how this will work (hoping tags help) but anyone up for trading polaroids? I’d love to swap some of mine for other peoples just to get other peoples polaroids up on my walls and it’ll be ace to write/post stuff out to new people. Pop me an ask if you’re interested and we can work it out.
Today’s been unreal. I set out this morning to meet my friend in Lewes to go road riding up to Ashdown Forest and back. My mood was absolute dire when I got to Lewes but my friends been a champ at putting up with me the last month so I was pretty straight up with him and told him what to expect and he was cool about it.
3 hours of amazing laughs and me feeling awful alternately was how the afternoon went. I’ve got no idea if I use to feel like this everyday 5 years ago, I don’t remember. The instability that comes with it’s crazy. The speed my moods been changing over the day is unbelievable. It feels like I’m witnessing some kind of chemistry experiment which leaves me in awe and terrified but impartial like an scientist behind a glass screen trying to pull some kind of facts from it all.
I woke up this morning with the answer to finishing my Polaroid 110 land camera conversion. I was struggling with how to keep the back tidy and extension springs was the answer i woke up with this morning.
Ordered some on eBay so hopefully it’ll be finished by the end of this week. All will be revealed then. Can’t wait to have a fully manual Polaroid. It’s been half finished for way too long.
“For someone who was never meant for this world, I must confess I’m suddenly having a hard time leaving it. Of course, they say every atom in our bodies was once part of a star. Maybe I’m not leaving… maybe I’m going home.”—Gattaca (via 7bo0ks)
I wouldn’t say I’m proud of my older sister but I’m not ashamed of her by a long way. She was a heroin addict for 13 years, had one of her children born addicted to heroin, hurt a lot of people close to her and let a lot of people down. She died at the end of last year after a seizure due to years of drug abuse and was found after the neighbours called the police. You could imagine she was a wreck in a lot of ways. I hadn’t spoke to her for nearly 11 years after I got sick of her hurting my family and wouldn’t look her in the face.
I was thinking about her today though and how she wasn’t any different from the rest of us. People hurt people intentionally and unintentionally. It’s just how things are. I hear it all the time at my work. People who’ve been through absolute hell with someone close to them and they can’t walk away. Are they weak for putting up with it or strong for standing by them? Choosing to care about someone so much they’ll work through it?
I don’t know if either’s right or wrong but there’s a beauty in either you have to appreciate. It’s kind of tragic but it’s the human condition and my sister really did show how we can be and at the end of it all she’s my sister and I cared about her despite all the anger. x